


What is Love? (Baby don't hurt me)

by Cat_Ra_She_Ra_Hearth_of_etheria



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: And also wow It's already 5 am geez I need to slee, And yes eventualy there will be a reunion, Angst, Cannon divergint, Glimmer and Catra on primes ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I friggn hate prime, I know, I seriously hate him, I will go down with Catradora, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Torture, Ive never ritten any fan fiction before (Like ever), Like ith fiery passion, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Please bear ith me here, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Simi- chipped Catra, There might be a happy ending but geez I'm making ya'll work for it, Which makes no sense, Whump, but also not really, calm down it will happen, first fic please don't judge, just keep reading
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:53:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28424268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cat_Ra_She_Ra_Hearth_of_etheria/pseuds/Cat_Ra_She_Ra_Hearth_of_etheria
Summary: Hey ya'llFair warning This fic will eventually get fairly Dark.Not quite in this chapter but well, Stick around and you'll seeI will tag those chapters with trigger warnings so just read the Notes and you should be fineI might change the ratings too eventually.My apologies that this fic is so short but give it time and I promise the chapters will get longerThis is my first Fic I love she-ra with a fiery Burning passion and my body seems to hate sleep so Combine those to and you've got a very rough Idea of a Fic.Anyways, in this chapter TW: MENTION OF SELF HARM AND CHILD ABUSEWithout Further Adieu Read away!Enjoy ;D
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Bow/Glimmer (She-Ra), Other relationships briefly mentioned, Perfuma/Scorpia (She-Ra)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12





	1. My words are like rocks and their suffocating me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey ya'll  
> Fair warning This fic will eventually get fairly Dark.  
> Not quite in this chapter but well, Stick around and you'll see  
> I will tag those chapters with trigger warnings so just read the Notes and you should be fine  
> I might change the ratings too eventually.  
> My apologies that this fic is so short but give it time and I promise the chapters will get longer  
> This is my first Fic I love she-ra with a fiery Burning passion and my body seems to hate sleep so Combine those to and you've got a very rough Idea of a Fic.  
> Anyways, in this chapter TW: MENTION OF SELF HARM AND CHILD ABUSE  
> Without Further Adieu Read away!
> 
> Enjoy ;D

When It finally hit her Adora’s world came crashing down.

Prime’s ships loomed ahead, casting shadows at odd angles. The tree’s shivered at his presence and the flowers of the whispering woods ilted. Clones crashed through the underbrush They stomped through the mud and moss making empty, identical footmarks as they crashed through villages and overtook them in prime’s name.

The clone’s Creepy as they were, lacked grace, lacked agility and were easy to unbalance. However, their sensors seemed to make up for their flaws spotting even the slightest movement miles away. 

Adora, however, had learned from the best. 

It was strange, she reflected that sneaking around the whispering woods so desperately reminded her of catra.

The two young girls would track, and sneak and follow and dodge everywhere around the fright zone and Catra True to her name had the grace of a cat. 

She could stalk her prey in the dead of night, her mismatch eyes seeing through the dark and climbing gently through the pipes. Oftentimes she hid from Shadow weaver, coming to “punish” her. Other times she hid from Adora, Hiding behind small boxes that somehow never fully concealed the master camofloger’s ears and tail. 

Sometimes Adora cried silent tears at the memories of her former friend, others she simply reminisced about the few good times she had.

But today she would not let her memories distract her.

She had a mission, An important one, and one she would not let down. Since breaking the sword It seemed as though her missions were easier, lighter in a way. As though her friends were trying their best to give the former princess the easier jobs. Internally she growled at the thought, _maybe they just don’t trust me..._ She pushed it away quickly as it came.

This mission was too important.

Clones stalked ahead of the bush she was concealed in. 

Perhaps stalked wasn’t the right word- crashed as more accurate. 

Clearly they had no concern of the racket they were making. 

Both were armed with a singular rifle, Both walked step in step, both had lime green eyes and both gave off an eerie sensation.

Their identities were stolen and repurposed as one of many.

Adora shuddered.

And she moved on...

The mission had been a complete and utter fail.

Their goal was seemingly simple.

There was a village, maybe half a quarter mile from their current base, somewhere deep in the whispering woods.

Their mission was to get in, and get as many villagers out.

Evacuate but do not engage.

And yet somehow it had all spiraled.

Maybe it had started when Netossa tore after a chipped Spinnerella.

When Scorpia Electrocuted a bomb

When The explosion knocked everyone unconscious.

But somewhere along the line It failed. And when they dreary marched back to camp with but 10 evacuees in hand a package was left center down in the middle of Adora’s tent.

A note in perfect crystalline handwriting wrote but five ords:

_Tell No One_

_I’ll know_

With shaking arms and heavy breath she unwrapped the flat package gently feeling for anything suspicious. She found nothing, no lever, no switch, no button.

The packaging paper fell to the ground and with a gasp Adora flipped the electronic device over.

It was white, Prime’s signature color with the gray horde logo stamped on the back. There was a wide screen but it fit in the palm of Adora’s shaking hand. She pushed a gray button and the device powered to life. 

It was a camera. 

Like a Spy bot from the horde but fancier. The video was less grainy and it was in color. There was a faint buzz of audio and the occasional sigh.

She studied it closely for a moment before it registered- It was a cell.

A crystalline cell on prime’s ship.

Adora gasped

Glimmer’s figure was pressed up against the bed she was eating from a gray dish making little huffs of discontempt.

At Adora’s gasp Glimmer perked up.

Noticing this Adora Pressed her luck, “Glimmer?” She whispered. And The face on the screen wirled to meet hers, “Adora?” She asked back.

Tears are sliding down the other girl’s faces now. For a moment they didn’t speak. They just stared and cried happy relieved tears.

“Are, Are you ok?” Adora asked timidly. There was so much she needed to tell her friend- how did she even start? Glimmer nodded and then whispered quietly, “I’m so, so sorry. I- I was so, I was so mean, and I- I didn-” Adora cut her off, “I forgive you glimmer, I forgave you a while ago, I have so much to catch you up on-'' This time glimmer interrupted, “So do I,”Glimmer’s words speed up, “Adora, Ca- Catra is here- on prime’s ship.¨

And that’s when it hit her. 

That’s when it pounded down on her skull- Catra was alive, and stuck on prime’s ship. Mixed feeling growled in her throat. Anger? Regret? Pity? Fury? Longing? She wasn't sure. But glimmer’s vice broke through slowly grounding her back to reality. “Adora? ADora?” She blinked and refocused. “ Is she- Um.. Is Catra? Is she-”Adora trailed off, not sure how to finish her question. Was catra what? Happy? Hurt? Glad? Gloating? Whatever she thought wasn’t her answer though.

“She’s... sad.” Was glimmer's reply, “Really, really sad.”

  
  


Glimmer sighed. 

The “Guest quarters” (Though really a prison cell) Were sterile- Creeply sterile. 

Her lunch was delivered at pricicly 1:00, the first time food was delivered Glimmer chucked the plate at the forcefield of a door. 

Her temper always seeming to get the best of her, she waited for the clones tasked with bringing her a meal’s reactions. 

Her Sides heaved, half hoping for an argument but instead they left.

And she was Alone again.

She slept that night fitfully and the next day the floor was clean.

Slowly, Glimmer was pretty sure she was losing her mind. 

Slowly, but certainly.

It was a heavy process, losing one's mind. And It took a while too. One didn’t simply just go senile, It took weeks, mabye months, mabye years. But most eventually lost it. Stuck on an alien empire with no way of contacting home was one way to go.

And then Catra showed up.

 _Catra_ , of all people.

The one who pulled the switch, the one who killed her mother, the leader of what was the horde, the one who so easily “Do it” when glimmer almost killed her.

And something is off.

Glimmer can tell. 

Maybe It’s the shell Catra has become, Her eyes drooping and constantly red ( though she tries to hide it) The fact that Catra has lost so much body weight and when they are forced to the backward banquets with prime she eats less than three bites. The scars on her wrists that clearly don’t come from sparring and even her words are hollow, her legs are humorless, her sass diluted and her form depressed.

Catra was sad...

And glimmer has no Idea how to feel about it.

So she talks with the former Horde officer instead. Most of the time they talk about adora actually. Catra seems to be happiest when they talk about Adora afterall. It’s the only time she catches Catra smiling, Genuine warm smiles. Adora is the glue that keeps these two strangers together. Their time talking however is often cut short. By clones go round the sharp corners, who scold catra and make her flinch.

It’s one of the first signs that make Glimmer realize Catra’s position in the Horde isn’t as secure as she’d like the princess to think. 

But glimmer’s brain is like a sitch and Itś one that seems she can’t quite turn off. So she asks Catra for a favor, some way to let adora communicate with her. And then she waits.

To her forever shock and surprise Cameras are installed, A gift is delivered and for the first time in what feels like years Glimmer talks with adora.

She apologises profusely and crosses her heart Adora Believes her. She does and Glimmer tells Adora the news. And Adora tells glimmer the news and tier both breaking down sobbing like they never had before. 

Micha is Alive, Her father is alive.

And somehow- just for a moment an umbrella pops open. And it protects her from her rain of guilt and shame, of threats and endless space. She talks with her best friend and for the first time in months, she might actually be ok.

  
  


Catra doesn’t cry.

She doesn’t let tears fall

She doesn't sob until she falls

She doesn’t feel sad

Until now

She was all alone.

Literally in some scenes. Stuck alone literally In the middle of space.

Alone figuratively because deep inside she felt so empty.

Maybe that's why she finally strutted over to glimmer's cell. Why she smirked and why eventually she talked. Why she sat back to back and opened up for the first time in her life just a little bit. Just a little. Not a ton- Not a lot. Just the happy, go lucky fragments of memories. And it still surprised her when she wasn't laughed at, reprimanded, scoffed- just joined in cuckles and remincining. 

But then she was thinking, too much again.

Because you see, Catra just couldn't have one memory without the other. She couldn't have the good without the bad. Couldn't remember her fun times at the fright zone without the shimmer of magic capturing and torturing her afterwards- the face of a parent reminding her that sheĺl only drag Adora down. 

And maybe thatś the moral of catra’s pitiful life. Nothing good comes without a price.

And so catra leaves their conversations. She scurries down the hall. She runs from glimmer and the constant reminder of the better life Adora left her for. Sometimes it's the clones who turn and glare with their green eyes, but most times It's Catra running like the freaking coward she is, running away from her mind.

If only she could outpace it.

And then Glimmer whispers, late one night "I wish I could talk to them, I was so horrible last time, I'd do anything to make it tight." But this time Catra Can't run. Her body has betrayed her mind Her throat has seized up and run chalk dry. But glimer isn't done and so quietly It's barely a whisper she adds, "Can you, can ask If I can?" This startles catra more than anything else. "What?" She asks and Catra hates how wobbly her voice sounds, "Can you ask prime, If- If there's someway I could? Talk to them I mean." Now catraś shocked into silence. "Uh.. I guess?" Catra adds hastily Her thoughts burning into her skull and then adding quickly, "I- I've got to go." And then she's up and gone leaving sparkles and her wishes behind her.

Catra has a map of Prime's ship nailed into her brain. She isn't sure hy, perhaps out of habit? She had memorized the Fright zone too, especially the escapes. 

Just in case.

The dash from Glimmer's cell to Catra's room isn't long and on all fours it's even quicker. She runs there now and slams the door behind her

Catra doesn't cry

She doesn't let tears fall

She doesn't sob until she falls

She doesn't feel sad

Until now

Now when reality has finally come back to slap her in the face

She shouldn't feel this way. She shouldn't feel hurt, or betrayed because why should she. People Leave. That's how life works.

The fact that she hasn't learned that by now surprises Catra

She has no right to feel this way. She hurt Glimmer and Adora and Bow and that flower one and the Ice kid and the Snarky ocean one, She doesn't deserve to feel sad. _She doesn't get to._

She doesn't

So Catra steels herself.

She walks to Prime

She talks to him

She convinces him

And she watches as The communicator is nailed into glimmer's room

The clone is sent with a gift

And she leaves glimmer and her best friend alone.


	2. Will you ever free me of these chains? (or will I drown)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the kudos and Comments!  
> I'll be trying to get these out on some sort of daily basis but It might change  
> TW: REFERENCED TORTURE   
> Also March with me those who hate prime and shadow weaver ;D

Perfuma’s favorite time of day was walking down the gardens.

Oftentimes ``the gardens' ' were the whispering woods, or her favorite pond in Plumeria. No matter the case though, She loved being surrounded by nature.

Being so emanate and close with it.

Stroking the leaves and healing wilting flowers, watching frogs and wildlife scamper through the glade, watching closely as nature did what it was best at...

Simply, being. Just existing, living and dying reaping its seeds and blooming new flowers. Wilting and dying, living and surviving. It was a cycle. Purly put, a cycle. It ran its course over and over again. And as Perfume walked somehow this put her back in her place.

As she observed the wilting flowers, the drift of a breeze and occasionally the carcass decaying she was reminded once again of how simply Being was perhaps the greatest gift of all.

Not Going, Not coming, simply existing however you are right now.

But each right now seemed to be filled with more and more exhaustion of going and coming.

No one had the time anymore to simply just exist, it was mission to mission, landmark, to land mark with no inbetween. 

Adora seemed to suffer the worst of all.

Perfuma, optimistic as she may be, was not blind and she had noticed the signs long ago.

The twitch of an eye

The doncast expression

The urge to push herself harder, and harder, and harder until she snapped

ANd the fact that sleep seemed to act like a physical pain to the warrior.

But recently there was a change. Ever since coming back from the failed mission she seemed to be more... Contempt. Which was arguably odd since they were in the middle of a galactic war fighting one of the most brutal of all time villains. ANd the warrior had indeed been through a change. Her droopy eyes seemed to up lift, if only a little, her diet was more filled out and she seems in general to have more of a pep in her step.

Perfume wondered what had changed.

The first time she tried to talk to her, Adora denied everything. But there was no confidence, no proof, just shifty eyes and awkward chuckles, nervous glances and sweaty palms.

Something was definitely off.

The second time perfuma talked to her Adora once again tried to deny everything, quick answers that seemed pre planned in advance and nodding slightly. But the second time she tried to talk to her Adora wasn’t quite so sure. 

“Adora? Can I talk to you?”

“Uh.. Sure! Whats up?”

“How are you feeling?”

“I- I’m doing great, the last mission, was super successful and the supply ro-”

“I didn’t ask how the war was going, I asked how were doing, Adora”

“Great!” She was quick to respond, to quick. Perfuma raised her eyebrows.

Clearly a subtle approach was not working, sweet as Adora was she could be...  _ immensely _ oblivious. Adora smiled awkwardly and Perfume went in for the hit.

“What are you doing in your tent every day for one hour?” 

Adora’s lopsided grin faltered And perfume knew she had met her mark. The flower princess crossed her arms in a most un- perfume like manner and raised her eyebrows. Adora scratched her neck searching for a response, “I was, uh mapping out twomorrows strategies we have to be ready to save glimmer from prime’s flag ship, re establish our trade routes, evacuate and free as-” Perfuma interrupted her rambling, “Wait what? You know where glimmer is?” Adora froze, her eyes the size of pin pricks and her mouth agape as she tried to recover her tracks, “I- I uh, no I just- guessed?” Perfuma narrowed her eyes. 

The rest of the conversation was a blur of stuttered excuses and humorless awkward laughs. But something was up, that much was certain. 

Adora had a secret, something that could help, And she wasn’t sharing.

Glimmer rubbed the inside of her ear and picked out the slimy earwax. She was waiting for the call. The Transmission device seemed to have dates. Calls could only come through at certain times. 1:30 was the chosen time, directly after she ate.

Catra hadn’t come in a while and tried as she may, Glimmer was worried about her. 

What if she was in trouble? What if asking for the favor had put her at risk?

Glimmer didn’t know. The clones who delivered her lunch never spoke to her. Simply threw the tray on the round and turned silently. At first she had practically screamed at them, “Where Is Catra!” But they had turned without ords and she gave up her fruitless attempts. 

The ship was eerily silent. 

No creatures critters, footsteps clanged or machines buzzed. It seemed that when she was alone, she was completely isolated from the world. Once she thought she heard a scream, a bone-chilling pain filed screech.

Adora’s calls were a saving grace.

Mostly she just talked. Adora Never revealed any information of use, never told the location, never gave any secrets away. Just in case. They couldn’t be sure if prime was spying on the line so instead they giggled and chatted.

And Glimmer’s heart ached.

It wasn't real and that was the problem. 

If she could, she would be vaulting questions by the second, “How is bow?”, “Where are you?” , “What is your plan?” But instead she was silent. A fake shining copy of herself as she talked.

She did like talking to Adora though, It was nice to see a face that wasn’t actively imprisoning her. But sometimes she selfishly wished for Bow or Micha. 

Her father especially.

For one hour. That was all. Just one Hour.

And then Glimmer was alone again, for 23 boring, pointless hours once more.

And then finally, Finally Catra came. 

For the first time since on prime’s ship she came into the room. She was holding a box clasped tightly in her fists, and a clone was escorting her to the cell. “Give us some privacy?” She asked rigidly. 

The clone spoke in an icy tone, “Of course little sister, prime sees all prime knows all.¨ Then the forcefield whent green. 

Glimmer tried to joke, “What’s with the bodyguard?” 

Catra flipped open the top of the box not answering, “Here, It’s the dumb food you wanted.” A pause, “ You know from your perfect day or whatever!” She’s blushing slightly, on the defensive to cover up a nice thing, “I remember.” Glimmer says, “I’m supposed to talk to you, so Eat the cake and Answer my questions.” Catra glances back at the door where the silhouette of a clone can be seen. Then she rushes forward.

“What’s happening?” Glimmer asks, confused.

She Is pushed back into a sitting position on the bed and For the first time she sees Catra fully up close. 

Shocking puts it lightly.

Her rib cage seems to have collapsed in on itself. Folding in on the bones. There are bruises patching her skin and strangest of all what looks like... suction marks? No, not suction marks, needles- pin pricks, little holes divided into her skin. 

Glimmer’s arm brushes out to touch one and Catra flinches away in pain. 

What happened to her?

Those are the only coherent thoughts Glimmer makes.

“An etherian ship left the atmosphere a few days ago, prime can not track it. What do you know about it?” Catra asks.

Glimmer’s arm slacks and the cake falls with a splat. 

Cat's eyes are filled with disbelief. “ Adora?” Then they harden again and she turns to go.

But Glimmer grabs her arm quickly. 

“You can’t tell him! You know what he’ll do when he has her! He could use she-ra to activate the heart! You can’t let him know!”  _ And You can’t let him hurt Adora. _ Those words aren't said but seem to be heard anyways. 

Catra yanks her arm away. “I don’t have to do anything. She is coming here to save you. I just have to let it happen.” 

“And you think prime will what? Reward you! As soon as you're not useful to him he’ll get rid of you!”

“I’ll find a way out I always do!”

Their shouting now, back and forth, back and forth their voices raised louder and louder. And then Glimmer breaks the silence

“Do one good thing in your life!”

Cat's eyes widen and she whirls, finally meeting the breaking point.

“Don’t talk to me like you know me! You don’t know anything about me! Guards!”

And then Catra’s gone, bringing All of Glimmer’s hopes with her.

Catra bows slightly.

“You have done well, little sister.”

She doesn’t look at prime in the eye.

“You made the right choice”

She shudders internally at the thought

“ You will be raised up higher than anyone else on your planet.”

_ Adora wouldn’t want this. _

“One to be exalted”

_ She left me _

_ No, She left the horde _

_ Same thing! _

“Is this not what you want?”

_ I want Adora... _

  
  


“Yes Lord Prime”


End file.
